I bought a huge bag of candy in late September.  I bought the good kind with a variety of bars made of chocolate, caramel, toffee and peanuts. I guess I thought buying the candy would prevent the inevitable.  

For the first time in 26 years I did not accompany a child of mine to a Halloween or Harvest festival, event, party or activity.  

I have the global pandemic to blame for the “Halloween That Wasn’t” this year.  But the truth is, the pandemic just gave me a glimpse into my not-so- distant future.  

In two and a half years my youngest child will graduate from high school and a chapter in my life will close forever. 

The first text I received this Halloween morning was a picture from a good friend of a Halloween long ago.  Our children were little and costumed and we were at her house for the pre-Trick-or-Treating party she hosted almost every year since my 10th grader was in preschool.  My friend’s youngest is a college sophomore.

I must admit, this is a bitter pill to swallow.  For 26 years Halloween has meant fun, friends, candy and costumes. For every one of those 26 years I have been involved in buying or creating Halloween costumes for at least one of my three children.  And most years I was responsible for multiple costumes.  It was not unusual for a child to need one costume that coordinated with friends at school and another one to wear on Halloween night with neighborhood friends.

Having to pull together multiple costumes, sometimes at the last minute because teenagers like to change their minds, drove me nuts.  But even as I ran into Party City at the 11th hour to exchange the tutu we had for one in a different color, I smiled as I rolled my eyes knowing that my Halloween costume shopping days were fleeting.  

I was right.  

But I thought I would still shop for costumes this year.  The pandemic took that away.  

My oldest is in grad school so he spent the night working on a paper.

My middle child lives away at college and I did not know what she did for Halloween until the next day. 

My youngest, who is in high school, celebrated Halloween by spending the night at her friend’s house. She didn’t have or need a costume. 

I opened the big bag of candy and poured most of it into the plastic pumpkin bucket she had used when she went trick-or-treating.  I took her and the pumpkin bucket full of candy to her friend’s house.  I lingered to chat briefly with her friend’s mom.  We talked about how our girls are growing up and how we wished time would stand still. 

Then I went home.  And felt that chapter close shut.  

At least Buffy had a costume.