Loneliness and isolation were my constant companions when I was a brand new mom.  The US Air Force had recently moved me and my active duty husband into a house that was 30 minutes away from the Air Force base and 4 states away from all of our friends and family.  

When I first came home with our new baby, I was fortunate to have three weeks of continuous company thanks to my husband’s paternity leave and extended visits from our relatives and friends who lived out of town.  But when our guests returned home and my husband returned to work, I was alone with my new baby in a new town with almost no friends for about 12 hours everyday.  Loneliness and isolation engulfed me.

I was desperate to make connections with other moms and I doggedly pursued those connections by dragging my infant to LaLeche League meetings, Rumble Tumble Tot classes, Officers’ Wives Club meetings, Kindermusik lessons and even to the playground long before he could walk.  

Fast forward to now, making connections is not a problem. As the mother of three, I have logged thousands of hours sitting on benches, bleachers and in chairs, shoulder-to-shoulder with hundreds of other moms at t-ball practices, basketball games, gymnastics lessons, music lessons, tennis matches, dance classes, orchestra rehearsals, swimming lessons and ice skating practices.  I have traveled with other moms by car, bus and plane to games, tournaments, competitions, and field trips.  

Sitting in close proximity with other moms creates connection and community.  There is a camaraderie that exists, even among strangers, in the shared space and experience of patiently waiting for another lesson, game or practice to end.  You begin to look forward to seeing those familiar faces while you wait together. You look forward to making small talk with those now familiar moms while you wait together.   And while you waited together, some of those former strangers became your new friends by the end of the season.

Then the global pandemic stopped the world. 

Among the countless other more obvious causalities of this pandemic is the destruction of the community forged by moms who wait together.

I did not realize how much I would miss that community.  It was stripped from us all so suddenly, along with every other semblance of normal life, that it has taken a while to register the loss.  And when you combine that with the sudden disappearance of the PTA meetings, the Music Boosters meetings, the Team Parents’ meetings and the Theater Parent Club meetings, you’ve got the perfect storm.    

Loneliness and isolation are real issues for moms during this pandemic.  Of course, it is far more devastating for our children who have been robbed of everything resembling a normal childhood.  But moms are also impacted.

I guess the pandemic has given me a glimpse into life as an empty nester.  If that’s the case, I’d better start getting my ducks in a row now or I will be in trouble later.  I am going to start by sending a text to a mom I met at the ice rink a while ago.  It has been a long time since I’ve seen her.  It’s time to reconnect.